The first time at a family's home: what to ask before you start

The most important moment of a job isn't when the parents leave. It's the twenty minutes before, while they're still there and you can ask questions. Whoever skips that step always finds out too late.

The questions you can't skip

• Allergies and intolerances - which, how serious, what to do if something happens, where any medication is
• Current treatments - if there's something to give, get it written down: what, how much, at what time
• Numbers - both parents, a nearby relative, the paediatrician
• Who is allowed in the house and who absolutely isn't. Also applies to who can pick up the child
• House rules - screens yes or no and for how long, what can be eaten between meals, where not to go

The questions that make the difference

Almost nobody asks these, and they're the ones that get you called back:

• "What calms them down when they're upset?" - every child has their own thing, and the parents know it
• "How did it go with whoever came before me?" - you understand in thirty seconds what they expect
• "Is there anything that usually goes wrong?" - there almost always is, and they'll almost always tell you
• "How do you prefer I keep you updated?" - some want a message mid-evening, some find it intrusive

Put it in writing

Don't trust your memory. A sheet in the kitchen with allergies, numbers and times is useful to you, but above all it's useful if someone else comes into the house or if you need to call for help and can't remember the paediatrician's name.

Before you leave the job

Tell them how it went, including what went wrong. A child who cried for half an hour isn't your failure: hiding it is. Trust is built this way, and in the valley word of mouth matters more than any online profile.